Confident Enough to Fail

I am never sure how to start these posts. Starting with a joke seems too nonchalant; besides, then I would need to come up with jokes as well as this post. One day maybe; for now, it is in the too-hard basket (really, it’s the ‘I am allocating my time to other areas’ basket).

Therefore, to begin….. I learnt what narcissistic means today.

For those who are like myself and are just dipping their toes in the pool of non-fiction (I learnt this word in a non-fiction book) because they were busy reading fantasy books* for the past 25 years, you are about to learn something. Narcissistic means to show excessive interest in or admiration of yourself. Which is a little daunting for me. I mean, I am the one writing a blog of my thoughts, then letting them go like a helium-filled balloon into the world. And why am I doing this? Because I truly believe the world would be a better place if people heard what I had to say AND I believe I can change people’s lives for the better.

That, from a zoomed-out lens, sounds very close to the definition of narcissism. Let me say firstly, I don’t believe having some narcissistic traits is always a bad thing. In fact, according to the Dunning-Kruger Effect (see image below), everyone who is on the mountainous journey to becoming an expert will exhibit some form of overconfidence. Or, as they call it in the graph, ‘Peak of Mt Stupid’.

The Dunning-Kruger Effect

The key word in the narcissism definition is ‘excessive’. Do I have an excessive admiration of myself? Well, I have spent the last 12 years of my life building my confidence. Not through any careful planning on my part (it would have been amazing to have a guide), but mostly through discontentment in my life and the willingness to change, to seek jobs and places that tickled my meaning. I became a teacher 8 years ago. 22 years ago, I started thinking deeply about life. 21 years ago, I told Mum that the meaning of life was to be happy (she laughed at me, though I think I was pretty close to the truth). I have built my confidence around experience and time. And I do not believe my goals surpass my ability to achieve them.

The point to this story is to build confidence over time and through experience. Become so confident at something that failing doesn’t bother you anymore. To fail would just take you one step closer to the Plateau of Sustainability (back to the graph), to expert-level status. It does take time, but that’s the fun part: the learning, working towards something, the feeling of purpose you attain. Building the person you want to be through experience.

Give it a red hot crack, you might just become something great and find joy doing it. I wish you luck on your journey.

For more weekly rambling, come back next week

Until next time,

Lachy

*I still enjoy fantasy books, but pair them with non-fiction and you will be unstoppable. Where fantasy books will build a person’s character, e.g. how to love, be courageous, wise, live with honour, etc., non-fiction will build the mind. A quote from Naval Ravikant that I like is, ‘Read everything. Eventually you will guide yourself to the things that you should and want to be reading’.